Zombies, dolls, chickens and drugs

I love that I can tell my mum some med side effects and she can conclude its like being on a trip..way to go mum using the word ‘trip’ appropriately, and then no reaction when I say yeah, except I didn’t take any fun drugs this time. 🙂 I’ll bet she was reminiscing again about that time the police demonstrated what burning cannabis smells like.

It’s been an odd few days. I had some diazepam inspired dreams of zombie invasion, where I went venturing too far outside of the safe zones, found me some zombies and got saved by Lister and Rimmer (of red dwarf fame (if you don’t know red dwarf then go away, watch every episode and then, and only then, will I consider speaking to you again)). So clearly I proposed to both on the spot and they supplied me with a fine quality conker. A conker? Yes. Don’t you know anything about zombies? You have to beat them at conkers before you can kill them…only, those zombies, they play dirty and you pretty much have to smash them in the head with your supreme king of conkers then just leg it. Which we did, trundling back through the doors and corridors that took us back to the heart of safety, but having to look unflustered and inconspicuous, like, yknow, we totally didn’t just leave the back door open so zombies could get in….

In addition, I saw a naked doll tied up to a van’s exhaust this morning. This made me smile because it looked really grubby and it was kind of a dark image…some people are clearly more weird than I am, so I’ll either have to up my game or accept the wonder that is the insanity of others!

You can probably tell that I’m feeling much better 😀

Here are some psychedelic chickens

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“Remember when you lost your shit and
Drove the car into the garden”~the national, I need my girl

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Dreams about seducing a megalomaniac demon as both a man and a woman…

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Dreams can sometimes have a peculiar clarity and tell stories that you, basically, didn’t know you had it in you to tell.

I was a man (looking somewhat like keanu reeves), and was hiding from some guys that were chasing me…I went into a hotel complex and after many corridors found a part that had been abandoned and not completed..I scrambled through a hole in the dusty floor and landed in a room with a weird icon statue. A door was next to me, so I opened it and heard a voice asking who dared to disturb them…I entered the room and the voice interrogated me..then a 7-foot demon approached me and said I had to do as he wished or he’d kill me….the first few errands were trivial but then he asked me to murder an innocent young girl.. I did what anyone would do in this position and try to seduce the demon so he would change his mind..the plan seemed to be working but he came to his senses and all of a sudden I was the girlfriend of the man I had been and I was searching for my missing guy.. I took a couple of friends with me and investigated that hotel complex…but somehow the police got involved and we’re chasing us…eventually we found the room with the icon, and opened that door. Inside we found a demon in the form of a woman and I demanded to know what had happened to my boyfriend….the demon seemed sad…it would appear it had fallen in love with him but had to punish him for insubordination. Willing to do anything to save him, I consoled the demon, and my friends and we all got somewhat amorous..time outside of that room had been frozen but then a police officer reached the door and knocked it down. Seeing a group of semiclad women sharing a huge bed together, the officer scratched his head and walked out. Around about now I woke up…I wonder what happened next!

sleep well friends…

Missing sleep and bizarre reactions

Something horrible has happened…friday night I slept really well..but since then my body and brain only want a time out during the afternoon. How frustrating! Im fully expecting to fall asleep on the next train…as long as there aren’t travellers chit chatting about mother in laws, dogs muddying sofas etc. I’ll just sip my mint green iced tea and wait for the end of the line to appear before me!

Ugh. An hour and a half wait because noone bothered to announce a change of platform…and I spent this time feeling weird. Weird because I have found out that an ex is about to become a father….it’s the same brand of weird I felt when he told me he got married. So why the wierdness? I had no desire to marry or procreate with this guy, im happy for him but right now I feel sad. Im sad because I know my lack of enthusiasm for marriage and kids makes me somehow an undesirable partner, and that other people can feel in love and happy enough that they really WANT to be wed publicly…because I’ve never felt that. Have I missed something? Conceptually marriage seems largely pointless unless you are living a romantic dream, or want an excuse for making a big celebration…but then by that logic, holidays, birthdays whatever, they are just nothing special….so that’s no fun. Dont get me wrong…I enjoy other people’s weddings! An excuse to dress up and appreciate the planning and aesthetics ( and happiness of bride and groom) but I guess in some tiny way I’m jealous…of the big fuss and celebration n all but sadly the big party comes with the necessary marriage stuffs which I don’t think is for me – and is this having children thing related or separate? Cos I definitely dont want to contract that idea! I cant begin to describe how a dog and a horse is more than enough responsibility mapped out for my future…and I know I’m far too selfish to bring up a child (aside from the total lack of desire for this). Im not going to justify my decision because I don’t have to. It is what it is and you cannot make me change my mind.

I guess I wish there was sometimes a little magic, a little romance, a little fire outside of books and movies. What do you do when noone wants to share your fantasy world of utopian views with you?