I’m incapable of taking an eyetest and not all news is good news

My left eye is a menace. It refuses to behave in eye tests so I’ve been to the optician 4 times during my ‘holiday’ and have had new glasses made twice; I’m still not convinced that the correction is right. I’m to give it another few days before I’m allowed a third test with a more experienced optometrist….I’m getting all the spiel from the regular staff about adjustment periods etc while I’m sat there wondering just how far away they are from my face and how bad the cross eyedness will be when I remove them this time. The first left lens was the wrong power and I suspect the second has a marginally wrong axis or centre of vision does not align, or, y’know, both, or neither. Lets face it, I don’t like change. 

The staff clearly think I’m some kind of nutter…the way this should work is, you get your new glasses, accept everything’s been done perfectly and just deal with the headaches, you don’t tell them all about it for god’s sake, and not repeatedly! I hope they are right and I don’t fall off my bike tomorrow.

What a nice headache-inducing way to spend my time off work. Sigh.


It was my intention to be creative these two weeks, make something, create something, but inspiration has not been abundant and playing ‘ori and the blind forest’ took precedent. I’m shite at computer games at the best of times, but one on a PC without a controller is well beyond my skill level even on easy.much swearing has passed. 

So instead I downloaded a karaoke app that lets you record yourself singing along to the songs on your phone. So I did that, and recordings  (so far only k’s choice) are only available for a laugh on request because I kind of hate my voice and don’t want it here for posterity. I will say though that it’s annoying how few contralto alternative, indie and (+/-pop-) rock singers there are out there to copy ;p


Also the depressed, anxious and otherwise unpredictable and neurotic dachshund who I was playing with, picking up and generally bonding with last week viciously bit the damned gardener on the leg on my birthday so considering her age and deteriorating behavioral problems, she was sadly wished all the best in her journey to the doggie afterlife 😦


It is upsetting but being small and cute doesn’t mean a dog is immune from being dangerous. Responsible dog ownership means making difficult decisions. In a weird way, I’ll miss my mum’s snappy, growly little fluffball, but not nearly as much as she will.


In other news, for a change and to build my confidence, I rode the Highland pony today while my friend rode ‘the beast’ that is Buster, but they were both like lazy angelic horses the whole ride so that was lovely and relaxing for all. 

Now thanks to said pony my knee injury that I’ve been trying to ignore for a few weeks is niggling again. Dammit. 34 and griping about my joints and singing karaoke at home alone. How did it come to this??? 


Why does singing make me cry?

Seriously, some songs, regardless of the situation make my eyes water when I sing them. Why do you suppose that is?

One example is ‘My Fidelity’ by Heather Nova…here I am in the lab doing some mind-numbing spreadsheet nonsense when this song comes around on iplayer and I quietly sing along – and predictably the tears start to fall.

perhaps its the lyrics?

“My Fidelity” ~ Heather Nova

Is it something ritual
I’m caught in, can’t break the spell?
Is it moving in my body
Is it biological?
I gotta hand it to you
You’ve got one heart ten times divided.
Did you cut yourself in pieces
To get them all inside?

You dream about her, can’t you see?
She’s only shining bright
’cause she’s so out of reach.
You dream about the seven seas
While I’m staying home each night,
Making love to my fidelity.

I’m rocking in my bed
I can’t talk can’t think can’t sleep.
And nothing’s jumping fences,
I only count what I cannot keep.
I lick my wounds,
I chase my instinct like a cat.
I don’t know how I got so good
Or why my heart’s a trap.

Why I love you, why I love you
Why I love you I don’t know,
Why I love you, why I love you, why.
Taking sides with my enemy
Making love to my fidelity.

I’m landlocked, stuck in here,
I don’t want to take my freedom.
I can’t change what makes me high
And I can’t change what I believe in.
I’m not pleasing no guru,
I’m not out to look for Jesus.
I’m not afraid to break the rules
It’s just, one love keeps me breathing.

Why I love you, why I love you
Why I love you, I don’t know
Why I love you, why I love you, why.
Taking sides with my enemy
Making love to my fidelity

well I guess the lyrics are kind of sad but the song itself is so sweet and bare, about comparing herself to some unattainable beauty…or that’s how I see it.

What other songs make me cry when I sing along?

Silent all these years – Tori Amos

Cooling – Tori Amos

Doubled up – Heather Nova

hmm I shall ponder on this.


Incidently – I started singing to myself the piano intro to ‘silent all these years’ (having not heard it for weeks or months) and then just for fun listened to it and guess what? perfect pitch! I could remember precisley (or as precisley as my ears will allow) the note which it starts on 🙂