Crimes against lab organisation – a sample mystery


This post will probably read like a really unsatisfying, shitty, nerdy mystery case. Or, y’know, another of my snoozeworthy diaristic geek fests.

The lab kids seem to be playing a belated April fools.

Someone in the past few days has left lots unlabeled samples in an old freezer box that was previously used for a potent toxin (that I was due to replenish). Someone used one of the mystery tubes, believing that it was said toxin. It was not. The new bottle of powder of said poison remains untouched.
Mystery and Intrigue. Oooh!
So I put on my miss Marple glasses, ready to dish out some justice, and I interrogated each lab member in turn, but they all have the same story- it wasn’t me guv.
I’m not that far gone that I believe pixies made some random aliquots (we all know that laboratory pixies only mess up my bench and switch around my buffers and shit like that), so that means someone isn’t telling the truth, and it’s probably that monster that leaves random white powders all over the balance too (everyone always says it wasn’t them) that sometimes have me reaching for the risk assessment forms. It’s someone with poor pipetting skills too…those damned aliquots are different volumes! Using my excellent analytical and deductional (is that a word? Maybe deductive is more like an english adjective) reasoning has led me to my prime suspect, but I have no evidence. It’s all circumstantial.

No-one seems able to fathom why anyone would commit such a terrible crime against lab organisation and chemical cataloguing. Someone must be protesting too much…

Someone is either having psychotic episodes, or is in fact a lying turd bag. It’s got one of the students questioning their sanity, I mean, you’d remember doing that wouldn’t you? You’d REMEMBER DAMMIT!  right?

Sorry mate, I can’t get to the bottom of this mystery with the means at my disposal. I’m disappointed that I do not have enough gravitas to coax the truth out, but I guess the red and purple hair and new flared jeans won’t be helping me any with that.

Now I know how police officers must feel when they know their prime suspect is guilty but they can’t arrest them or they’ll lose their job! According to the employees handbook no enhanced interrogation techniques are allowed either so I guess we’ll never know for sure. But I’ll be watching….

Mystery samples will not be tolerated!

I am what I am not ( part 2)

Yeah I know I used that title idlewild reference before (quite recently in fact) buts it’s the only thing that seems relevant.

A few words triggered a massive inner hurricane and I felt like a damned superhero on the brink of unleashing some mortal power. The doors survived slamming and the grocery bags didn’t break as I threw them down because although I felt the need to break something…I was not far gone enough not to see the consequences (this time). It sounds like I have a terrible anger problem doesn’t it? But I think I coped quite well considering. Considering that I had, yet again, been told black was white.

It sounds trivial, but I was criticised for not running ahead to unlock the door for someone, so when I rushed and tried my best to find my keys (that had securely snuggled themselves somewhere between my wallet and phone) my companion impatiently said very bitingly that I was not bothering, like usual. Now, he was damned lucky I didn’t throw the groceries at him and walk off, but I didn’t, I just set my jaw and ran ahead to unlock the next door to prove him wrong (god. I hate reverse psychology, it’s the worst…) and then my mood was apparently unacceptable
Did I get an apology? Of course not.

I’m sick and tired of going told what I am ( when I am not) and vice versa. Sick of being told I am doing one thing when I’m trying to do something else. I’m not standing for having my perception and memories distorted out of all recognition.

“You were way out of line
Went and turned it all around on me again
How can I not smell your lie
Through the smoke and arrogance?

Ha! I even referenced the same puscifer song in my last post called “I am what I not”

Pre-dictable association.