Fate wants to remind me of the perils of riding a horse or a bike

On Sunday I went for a lovely ride in the countryside with buster. We normally go out for about 1.5 or 2 hours but this time we went for a 3.5 hour ride. He had a great time but about half way around I started to feel a bit chaffed in my nether regions. Lucky me, especially as I was at the furthest point and just had to ride it out  so to speak. I won’t get graphic but let’s say a lot of sudocrem will be involved for several days and I feared for my girly bits for the cycle ride to work.

Morning came, and with it, less discomfort (Thankfully). But it was raining cats and dogs.

Cycling in the rain is not a favourite pastime of mine but I did it anyway this morning. I made sure my seat position was not too inappropriate, and I carefully manoeuvred myself around the slippery roads and objects that disappeared behind giant splodges of rain on my glasses. I wasn’t ecstatic to be out there, but I was far less happy when I found myself laying on the floor.

That’s right folks. Gravity, at the whim of a middle-aged umbrella-weilding man, embraced me and my steed in an ungainly sideways debacle. Being pushed off a cycle track on to the road, I was lucky that no car came and made my day a whole lot less conscious, but as fate would have it, the coast was clear while I scrambled to my feet and assured the unwitting assailant that yes, I was fine.

No blood, no broken bones, just a salient reminder of the dangers that a cyclist must face, some bruising and some pretty crippling muscular aches.

I pushed my shaking self to continue the journey and by the time I got to work id almost calmed down. I gobbled down some painkillers and (after some requisite moaning) got on with my day. I even cycled home. Can you believe that? Sore all over and adrenally exhausted as I was, I still got my self and my bike home without either of us trying to take a midjourney nap on the road.

I call that progress.

So there we go folks, lessons learned here are: If you are going to fall off, do it from a bike not a horse (much closer to the ground that way). Give umbrella-armed people an extra two metres of room to allow for random movements. Sudocrem makes a lot of things better. Make sure you aren’t tilting your pelvis when you horseride, and don’t judge the best length of ride on the fitness or roadworthiness of your steed, but rather on the hardiness of your crotch.

At least these adventures have not (yet) yielded boils or sores…and rider, horse and bike are in the correct number of pieces (even if some pieces feel like they’ve been brutally tenderised.

I look forward in earnest (although do not fully expect) to waking up tomorrow and being able to move my back normally.

Stay safe out there kids, and don’t wear synthetic undies for sports, or, maybe ever. k?

“Don’t try to get away
I’m here to stay
My name is fate”~curve, fait accomplis

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