It’s funny, the things that you find in the rain (or, yknow’, loft)

It really is amazing what people will throw in their lofts and sheds. Especially as they forget what’s in there and inconveniently expire, leaving the descendants to sort through it all. At this juncture, I am one of the aforementioned descendants. image

We found all sorts of antique stuff just set aside! like the picture above of some stencilling paint and brushes in red, white and blue, that must have been used to paint a union jack or something, maybe for VE day. We find ourselves sifting through what look like dreadfully ugly chinaware that actually might be worth auctioning and very pretty little things that are worthless. Worth is a funny thing isn’t it. These things all meant something to my late Grandmother but I have no connection to them – many I haven’t even seen before, but this is no time for sentimentality – Those cute biscuit tins
imageand those that are filled with buttons that have long since lost their garments but no-one ca bear to throw them away. We found bags of fabric just waiting to be made into curtains or dresses or something else, but they were just wrapped up safely next to an old “His Master’s Voice” radio and a load of french liguaphone record sets.

(did you know that HMV stands for his master’s voice? I didn’t!) I found that my Grandfather was accepted into Cambridge University but the scholarship was not full and his parents could not afford to send him. I’m so glad that now I’ve made it there myself -I didn’t know him well but I’m sure he’d be proud,

Among the piles of dresses and fur coats we found two horseshoes, some antique sheep clippers, and boxes and boxes of lovely old books that were dusty and delicate.

I won’t say that the experience of lugging all that stuff around and sorting through was fun, but I will say that it was insightful and surprising at times.

It makes me wonder what someone else would make of the stuff I have stuffed under by bed!

Show me the ways to button up buttons
That have forgotten they’re buttons
Well we can’t have that forgetting that”~tori amos, yes, anastasia

I am the most senior person in the library

“I am the most senior person in the library”


At least that is what my drunken colleague told me.


We weren’t in a library.

Ok, No more pimms for you sir!

This was the result of a lab punting trip. We punted up the river for a picnic, taking in the scenery. We saw signets and swans, ducklings and ducks, herons in their nest, and a cow in the river. Yep. Swimming along and freak-mooing out about the fact that it didn’t know how to escape. Obviously we called the police so they could come and rescue it, but by the time the incident was reported, the damned beast got itself out. Typical eh?
During our outing we only got to see one person fall in and only one naked river swimmer.
A different colleague was feeding a duck crisps all the way, so the bloody thing wouldn’t leave us alone. I’m pretty sure ducks aren’t meant to eat crisps..I think it makes them hyper and I don’t want to know what comes out the other end but it can’t be good!

Where the words jump off my pen and into your pages
Do you think just like that you can divide this?”~tori amos, your cloud


You know those skies,
The ones that beg
For would-be lovers,
To brush lips.

The molten amber orb
of the sun,
Melting into the horizon.

Smears of shameless light
radiating through
a glorious mackerel swathe,

With all the pastel shades
blended artfully
before they caress the ground.

I still see those skies,
I can feel the tangible beauty,
fearlessly nudging me,
towards rapture.

Fate wants to remind me of the perils of riding a horse or a bike

On Sunday I went for a lovely ride in the countryside with buster. We normally go out for about 1.5 or 2 hours but this time we went for a 3.5 hour ride. He had a great time but about half way around I started to feel a bit chaffed in my nether regions. Lucky me, especially as I was at the furthest point and just had to ride it out  so to speak. I won’t get graphic but let’s say a lot of sudocrem will be involved for several days and I feared for my girly bits for the cycle ride to work.

Morning came, and with it, less discomfort (Thankfully). But it was raining cats and dogs.

Cycling in the rain is not a favourite pastime of mine but I did it anyway this morning. I made sure my seat position was not too inappropriate, and I carefully manoeuvred myself around the slippery roads and objects that disappeared behind giant splodges of rain on my glasses. I wasn’t ecstatic to be out there, but I was far less happy when I found myself laying on the floor.

That’s right folks. Gravity, at the whim of a middle-aged umbrella-weilding man, embraced me and my steed in an ungainly sideways debacle. Being pushed off a cycle track on to the road, I was lucky that no car came and made my day a whole lot less conscious, but as fate would have it, the coast was clear while I scrambled to my feet and assured the unwitting assailant that yes, I was fine.

No blood, no broken bones, just a salient reminder of the dangers that a cyclist must face, some bruising and some pretty crippling muscular aches.

I pushed my shaking self to continue the journey and by the time I got to work id almost calmed down. I gobbled down some painkillers and (after some requisite moaning) got on with my day. I even cycled home. Can you believe that? Sore all over and adrenally exhausted as I was, I still got my self and my bike home without either of us trying to take a midjourney nap on the road.

I call that progress.

So there we go folks, lessons learned here are: If you are going to fall off, do it from a bike not a horse (much closer to the ground that way). Give umbrella-armed people an extra two metres of room to allow for random movements. Sudocrem makes a lot of things better. Make sure you aren’t tilting your pelvis when you horseride, and don’t judge the best length of ride on the fitness or roadworthiness of your steed, but rather on the hardiness of your crotch.

At least these adventures have not (yet) yielded boils or sores…and rider, horse and bike are in the correct number of pieces (even if some pieces feel like they’ve been brutally tenderised.

I look forward in earnest (although do not fully expect) to waking up tomorrow and being able to move my back normally.

Stay safe out there kids, and don’t wear synthetic undies for sports, or, maybe ever. k?

“Don’t try to get away
I’m here to stay
My name is fate”~curve, fait accomplis

Haircare trial failure. Forget mending my hair, please mend my nostrils

I thought I’d try umberto giannini shampoo and conditioner again as I had some success with the weightless feel of the pure beauty range but just as my fingers graced the bottle I noticed a new product range aimed at mending poor condition hair (Mend my hair). Yay! I thought, this must be even better! So I parted with my cash and walked away feeling smug.

Today I tried it out, and here is what I discovered:

-The shampoo comes in a groundbreaking phlegm format, such that you cannot lather, or spread it well and can only apply sticky gobs of the stuff onto your scalp. Yum!
-Being sulphate-free the shampoo is quite mild so if you have a greasy scalp then this will simply not do the job for you and will just leave your scalp feeling dirty. Great stuff!

-The fragrance is unmistakably masculine and reminiscent of cheap mens Deodorant. Who doesn’t want to wear that smell on their head?

-I found that doing a second shampoo with my trusty John Freida shampoo fixed these issues. Phew!

Zero points to the shampoo, it failed to clean or even leave me hair smelling nice. In the bin with you matey!

-The conditioner comes with a slightly different masculine cheap Deodorant scent that is even stronger. You are supposed to leave this bad boy in for 10 mins but I simply couldn’t stand the smell so after 3 mins I caved and washed it out as thoroughly as possible.

-For a conditioner, this guy didn’t do a whole lot of conditioning. It actually made my hair feel weirdly dry and crispy :S so it took a ton of hair oil to get some normalcy back into the texture.

– The scent lingers, oh my god how it lingers! I have added elixir and initialiste (both strongly scented) and dried my hair but it STINKS. Frankly I’m embarrassed to to go work with a head smelling like lynx body spray but I don’t have time to re-wash. If you are a guy I expect the fragrance will be a bit less offensive bit for me it is just horrid. And it’s going to follow me around until tomorrow morning. I’ll keep my hair tied up and hope not too much escapes into the wild (ie nostrils of co-workers)

Bottom line: a shampoo that doesn’t clense and a conditioner that doesn’t moisturise.

Umberto Giannini, you missed the mark on this range. By quite a substantial distance; I’m not even sure you had an arrow in that bow.

A drunken dream or broken seam It doesn’t matter how you find me

Here I sit munching salt and vinegar snakes and ladders (I kid ye not, clearly a marvel of a consumerist society), and listening to Leona Naess as she sings…

“All the shadows have made ladders
And all that mattered, yes all that matters
Is lifted from view”

..and I begin to wonder if there is going to be some significance of ladders in today for me. I dreampt about putting my red trousers in a full bath of water, I wonder what Jung would have to say about that. Well according to a dream symbol website (clearly this is totally legit stuff…) trouser (or pants) are meant to be a sign of covering up your sexual feelings or the hidden source of your true energy, red corresponds to sexuality and passion, and bath represents confronting feelings of guilt or negativity. Gosh, that’s rather a neat story, it sounds like my unconscious wants me to become a burlesque dancer!

I’ve made leaps and bounds in the area of considering myself worthy of nice things. I have bough myself a new summer dress, new earring studs that are in the shape of zipper tabs (this amused me greatly), a necklace ( of the simple black lace choker variety) and a thoroughly sexy white (GOOOD LORD! I KNOW!) top for summer riding – you know the type that comes with some kind of flattening (yes I meant that not flattering) under support or whatever. Why can’t they make those things at the same price in another (ANY OTHER) colour – seriously Horses + exercise + white = visible filth. Even though I’m home alone cleaning the bathrooms, I donned the dress and necklace so I feel awesome regardless :D. I don;t know if its the bleach or or what, but I have a suspect throat tickle coming on and I really hope that the infectious lurgey going around the lab hasn’t decided I’m a worthy hostess. I was so certain this time around that I wasn’t going to get sick, I didn’t even breathe through my tshirt when the inflicted zombies were nearby (a known psychological deterrent for viruses that I mocked a colleague for doing). Curses.

Right, well, reading back through the above,  it seems a lot like I don’t actually have anything to say at the moment, just inane drivel, so all I have to say is that I’ll be looking out for ladders for the rest of the day.

you already got a lyric in the title from Leona naess’ promise to try, so you don’t need another one.