There’s not a lot that I know any more, but I know when a good bridge is burning

I’ve been absent. I’d love to say that this time has been spent on some rewarding creative project but, y’know, it hasn’t.

I found myself dreaming last night about performing an upcoming experiment, but the cells got infected and it all went wrong…it’s really a bad sign when you think about your research so much that you are dreaming about bacteria interloping in your experiments…but in all honesty, it could be a premonition! Antibiotics at the ready eh? Oh also dreampt about the giant supermarket that my brain thinks is at the Logan Airport departures lounge. Seriously brain, we’ve been there, there is no such thing, so why do you keep telling me there is?

Not much is going on in the theorising, literary part of my brain (as you can tell from the snoreworthy diarist style of this post) because I’m busy assimilating some of Carl Jung’s theories of psychological imbalances. I’ll report back once I’ve garnered enough info to write about it.

What I have done though is write a precis of my anorexia recovery on a support website so that it will give some hope to those who are questioning whether recovery is really possible. As you know by now, it is! I’ve been clean from the drug of ED for over two years and am now strong enough to start helping others. Of course I tried before but there is only so much a sick person can do to help another sick person…the hypocrisy is unbearable from both sides!

I’m disappointed in myself that I’m not looking a little closer to home and making the effort for family and friends…every week I resolve to contact several people, but as it’s been so long for many, I’m scared of the reaction or lack thereof. I’m reminded as I write this, of the wisdom of one Mr Barker:

“A feeling of anxiety is the sure and certain evidence that you should do this”

Alright then Clive, I’ll bite some bullets.

P.s. The title comes from a Poe song called dolphin


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