being a strange cyclist, possible conference and some strife

I’ve become that embarrassing stranger who tells a young lad on his bike that he might want to do up his shoelace – oh the shame – Id been watching that neon lace tangling all over the chain for a good stretch of the road and I have to admit a small part of me was waiting for him to get caught up in the chain but then I figured it was only a kid, and he had no helmet so the only thing I could do was tell him about the lace…I didn’t get a thanks or anything I got a kind of  ‘yeh’ mumbled towards the ground – the lace was fixed and he cycled off as fast as he could to get away from me!  


There is a possibility that I may be going to a conference in October to give a talk – y’know as in the organisers will pay my registration fees n stuff. Well obviously they invited the boss lady but shes off on holiday and we are waiting to find out if they consider me to be a suitable substitute. I’m crapping myself about it really – I mean, giving a talk at an international conference in front of a load of strangers, having no-one there i know to comfort or encourage me. BUT – its a fantastic opportunity (even if the conference isn’t the most amazing one ever) and I may not be given the opportunity again for a very long time. watch this space. I’ve got too comfortable and complacent and need to do something a bit scary.

My significant other believes that I make him suffer. He very much resents that I make effort for everyone except him. Like the other week, I went our for meals with the family – no problem, but SO wants to go out for dinner and I don’t want to. What’s that all about? I was *supposed* to get up at 7 today and drive to the lab but my alarm didn’t go off and i woke up at 9…he is very angry with me – especially because I have no problem getting u at 7 to go horse riding. I know I need to apologise but I don’t really know why I am behaving like this. I agree that it is not fair but how do you make yourself ‘get on with things’ if you feel depressed?



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