The final step of eating disorder recovery looks a lot like many of its predecessors, only this time, it’s global.
So you are weight restored, mentally stable, and do not consider yourself to have an eating disorder any more.
And yet you still want someone checking up on you, prodding you, reminding and encouraging you if you veer outside of your healthy boundaries.
If you are still maintaining weight or eating healthily or taking your medication just to get a pat on the head and to be told you are doing well, at the age of 31, you need to think of the following:
Take responsibility for yourself. Until you are doing these things for YOURSELF rather than for other people’s sake, you will not truly be recovered.
So that’s where I stand. On the brink. The final frontier. Leaping off and knowing theres no specialized doctor ready to catch me. Im not a child any more. I have been educated and encouraged sufficiently to understand the importance and the reality of what must come to pass. It’s time to stop dumping responsibility on others. I still want someone I can say made me fat or skinny or think a certain way or whatever but at the end of the day, the only person who controls my diet, exercise and extent of preoccupation, is. Me.
It’s my fault and to my credit that my body and mind are healthier. I had help along the way but why must I keep creditting or blaming others?
It’s over, anorexia. One more weigh-in under surveillance then all the safety nets will dissolve. For the first time im kind of excited about that.