This week has seen an unacceptable plague of acne set up camp all over me.
Ok maybe not all over.
Ok maybe most people wouldn’t notice .
I genuinely believe that acne bacteria should be incapable off growing on human skin. I also think that adults should not have to suffer such teenage afflictions.
I know it’s not the end of the world, I know they will probably go away but I also know that these bouts are getting worse…since taking a course of roaccutane to treat my disgusting skin (at the time leaving me with enviably flawless skin) it has gradually been sliding over 4 years despite religious applications of topical retinoids. I think I’m ready to ask my gp for some antibiotics because I know I’ll never get on Accutane again unless things get shockingly bad and I’m already ashamed to show my face in public 😦
The really shit thing isn’t the soreness or anything, it’s the emotional impact. I awoke to find three new facial inhabitants, none of which were going to hide subtly behind foundation, oh no and two more on my chest meaning my choice of tops to wear was instantly diminished.
You can think that I’m being silly or over-the-top but having even one spot makes me utterly miserable. All I can see in the mirror is a huge pimple with my face attached. Everything about me becomes ugly, shameful, dirty, imperfect…everyone who looks at me I’m just sure they are staring at my spots….
Maybe it’s a carry over from when my skin was REALLY bad and people DID stare and make comments 😦 maybe it’s because I’m 30 and I shouldn’t have this issue. Maybe it’s because I hoped that gaining weight and health would IMPROVE not worsen my skin…
So there we go. I feel absolutely revolted by myself, I am gross, I am just so ugly you cannot imagine. I wore my ‘im ugly on the inside too’ tshirt and felt justified bearing that slogan.
Everything is just dreadful if you have acne.
Dear cosmos please take away this affliction, I promise to drink more water and do more exercise and remember my vitamins…dont make me take vitamin a and kill my liver….