Today I was questioned on something. Why do I have no problem eating a carrot without peeling it ( so it still has a bit of dirt etc in the dimples) yet refuse to eat anything which has touched the table/chair/floor.
This got me to thinking….why do I think it’s ok for a cat to climb all over my bed but think I’m going to die if I touch part of a public bus?
(Incidentally I HAD to hold the bus rail this morning without any gloves / sleeve protective barrier. I didn’t have my usual antibacterial + antiviral hand foam with me. I felt sick…it’s just horrendous beyond words I need to be better prepared in future)
I am very wary if people touching my face as I think their skin bacteria will give me acne, but will happily rub my face against a cat/ dog/horse / tree etc.
Basically I think I’m afraid of other people’s germs. I examine cutlery and crockery etc anywhere outside of my house for signs of contamination and regularly ask friends or family for a cleaner fork /mug etc and woe betide any bar that gives me a glass with lipstick on it!
I wonder how much is just habit carried over from times when common sense didn’t register on my radar. I wonder how often these thoughts contribute to my relentlessly empty social life. I have cancelled outings for thoughts lesser than that of a bit if dried cheese on a knife. Not that I’m proud I’m just now realising the juxtaposition of my fear of human contamination vs anything else.
Why do I think humans are so dangerous and unclean?
It kind of hits home when you have two people fighting over who gets to have the chocolate biscuit which fell on the table that you now refuse to eat…the one who ate it suffered no ill effects. What did I think would happen?