Sharing your soul and getting nothing back


Have you ever shared a secret, a painting, a poem or something equally personal with someone you trust only to receive nothing in return?
I guess all relationships have give and take but what if you end up giving more than the other person wants. Let me give you an example. It took me years to allow my significant other to read my poetry, yet when I offered some to him to read, he was largely disinterested and had no comments to make. Same with my art work. I pour hours and slithers of my very being into my non nature based art (password protected) yet even after coaxing all I get in response is something generic like ‘yeah it’s alright, can i change the channel now”
I’m not saying that he is the only example. I had this great idea for a novel and span out the introductory pages then filed it away. Having found it a few years later the pretext of the plot seems fine to me and the initial style at least acceptable, but I lack confidence and dont want to waste months of my life completing said novel if it’s just pants, so I tentatively emailed it to a friend.
Now I know shes been through a lot and it probably wasn’t high on the priority list at all so some weeks later I asked if shed read it but no mention was ever made. That was over a year ago I think and I’m still a bit raw from that. Call me selfish, but I kind of would have liked some feedback, also on the line drawing I sent. How much time does it take to open an attachment and ponder a few moments? So my confidence was somewhat knocked by this. I accept that friends may not want to read all this shite I blog but this isn’t something I have exactly crafted yet I offer them the link still, they take one glimpse and never speak of it again. I have been doing this for years, oversharing my creations in the hope of recognition, of striking someone’s emotional reSponse, of acceptance. I’m not after praise just consideration. I took the time to make this and took the courage to share it but you cant take the time to bother contemplating it? I don’t know. I wonder if it’s any worse than being played a cd of some band and not bothering to give a real opinion but saying ‘yes very nice dear’. But it’s several CDs every day of someone else’s work and it gets tedious. I’m talking a poem or sketch or painting every few months.
I clearly overshare and expect too much in return. I guess sone times you have to accept that just because you think you have a connection with someone doesn’t mean you do. And just because you enjoy something and aspire to so.e achievement, doesn’t mean anyone will ever like it.


One thought on “Sharing your soul and getting nothing back

  1. I don’t think you’re oversharing if you’re only sharing once a month. Some people aren’t into art, I guess, I don’t know. Usually I am too afraid to give anyone anything I do, but when I do I only give it to my best friend and sometimes he doesn’t read it anyway. Sucks.

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