Making things as difficult as possible.

I like to make things as difficult as possible for myself sometimes…it aids the sense of satisfaction when you finally succeed. My favourite example was starting a biochemistry degree without an a-level in biology…when I tell people that even now, they think I was crazy. Worse still, I chose a science when all signs showed I was better suited to arts and literary projects..grades, aptitude, ease. All but I figured that I can teach myself to play another instrument, and to write music, too improve my art and focus my writing (should I chose to) but I am not someone who can teach themselves chemical fundamental principles or biological techniques. So by day I have been a scientist ever since. Some evenings I carry that role on, and others I’m a painter, a lyricist, a poet, a seamstress, a novelist, a flautist, a singer, a philosopher, a dragon, a psychotherapist a photographer, a blogger and at times a baker. All so so amateur it makes me cringe, but despite the cringing and self-deprecation, I keep going.
How to make sewing your first garment as difficult as possible
1. Use a complex pattern
2. Use black fabric and black thread
3. Use CRePe fabric
4. Don’t bother two figure out how to use the sewing machine before you start.
5. Only buy enough fabric for one shot
6. Use a stitching style that seems impossible to unpick
7. As your SO if the finished item is suitable to wear in public.

Astoundingly the finished article is better than I expected though significantly less flattering than the pattern appears…also featuring seams that don’t meet up quite right and ten billion threads hanging off because I never figured out how to lock the stitching at the ends.
Picture? Uh. Ok but no sniggering.

And this is what it SHOULD look like


To be fair I started making this two years ago when I was hmm some 12 pounds lighter ( clearly didn’t feel 12 pounds lighter based on the siZe) and now it’s less baggy and weird looking…w. I hope!

Now that this project just needs inner seams tidying up I need a new project. And maybe instead of making it up as I go along I will list some ideas. Not maybe. I will. Here
Peacock feathers
Black flowers
Lace and buttons
Candles or chandeliers
Red wine
Ok that’s my next painting then. In theory! Clearly in a dark mood today.
Maybe not a painting, maybe a story, maybe a hat, maybe an evening, maybe a dream.

I used to be such a darned perfectionist. Nothing was good enough that I did, I’d sooner scrap everything or never try rather than prove to myself and the world that I was less than perfect. You know what? I could drop dead at any minute and noone would ever know that I even tried, that my lame efforts were hiding sad would that be? To be remembered as someone who never tried to create something beautiful or meaningful, someone with no desire to step outside of the daily grind abd wonder about the mysteries of life…so…I leave them here.. In their onion skin layers. The thoughts, the words, the pictures and the fragments of reality and fantasy which make it worth being alive.
Oh and by the way, the blogger known as Gordon Flanders mentioned my tagline in as essay if his- read it abd see what you think…


One thought on “Making things as difficult as possible.

  1. Hey totally missed this post before! Thanks for the shout out! Seems like so long ago now. I do everything the hard way, too.

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