So today I have freedom in the flat, in, my flat.
It is SO rare to be here alone and I just LOVE being able to potter around, lazing my way through the day as I please. No-one questioning me, judging me, criticizing me, telling me off etc just me, at peace, at last 🙂 how can anyone complain about this kind of experience? I’d LOVE to have 4 hours of this every week while SO went out and did something with other people, or alone, but he HATES it….and so every bloody waking moment which is not taken up with work is in company, no time to be alone, to meditate, to reflect, to read through those notes from all that mental work I have done over the past 12 months, to just sit and accept that this is me – albeit unkempt, and that is just fine.
I even feel like tidying – isn’t it funny? as soon as I am alone I WANT to tidy and make the place all neat and nice, but when I have company I just don’t want to! I guess its because I have this stupid hope that if the place is perfect when <ahem> company returns home that I will be congratulated on being so good at making the place look nice etc – I know deep down that will NEVER happen, and I will just be expected to work hard ALL the time not just every now and then, but i guess I’m just a naive dreamer!
you know what? I feel like singing 🙂 I feel like making something, let’s see what I end up doing…what do you reckon? 7 hours of skyrim, eating everything in sight and doing no housework? haha – yeh maybe and it will be really awesome right until I hear the key in the lock and realize that oh shit, Im in trouble …. ;/