On why I think animals are better than humans

Disclaimer: For the purpose of this discussion, animals will be defined as non-primate mammals. I am well aware that humans are animals, but it is a bit lengthy to have to write ‘non-primate mammals’ every time, so for now, they are animals, and we are humans. ok?

Why do animals make better company than humans?

– they don’t lie

-They don’t argue about pointless things like who is doing the dishes, and only moan when you try and put them in a box not much bigger than they are (this is reasonable)

-They don’t pretend they didn’t make that gross stink and blame it on you

-They don’t blame you for things, they just accept that things happen

-You can convince yourself that they are pleased to see you because they love you, and not because they are hungry and cannot open the tins of food/ gate themselves.

-When you want alone time you can just go out, they will be happy when you return, not moody

-Animals are rarely religious, so you are spared all of that nonsense

-Animals will not steal your expensive shampoo, though they may smear it all over the bathroom if you leave it in an accessible place

-If your animals smells another animal on you they wont think you are cheating on them, they will be excited to meet this other animal

-Animals don’t care if you wear your pyjamas all day long

-Animals don’t criticize you (unless you choose to reflect your self-criticism off them)

The downsides of animal companionship – why human contact is sometimes necessary

-Animals do not make good restaurant or pub-going guests, they tend to spill things and make a mess

– Animals are not very good at paying your wages on time

– All conversations with an animal is invariably a conversation with yourself, sometimes you need another opinion when sparky keeps agreeing with your thoughts

-Animals do not make very good doctors – sadly ‘ roll in the mud’ doesn’t cure all human ills.

In conclusion, Humans are necessary for health and wealth, but animals are better for happiness. Fin.

Ah. One more thing. This does not mean that when we are next scheduled to meet that it is acceptable to send a gerbil in your stead.

Gripes and Wisdom of the day


– People who feel the need to set their rear mudguard on their bike so that it flings water directly into the cyclist behind them’s face

-Being told on an almost daily basis that I am mentally retarded

-Spending hours writing (albeit badly and lengthily) part of a manuscript only to be told that co-author isnt going to bother reading it!

-not drinking coffee all day yesterday becasue i was determined to get some sleep last night, only to find i had a terrific coffee-wishdrawal headache this morning 😦


– Hydration matters folks, I kid you not. I must have been dehydrated for days – you know when its 5pm and you cannot remember if you have even been to the bathroom since you woke up…you have to think perhaps you’ve forgotten to drink, well, anything. So making a concerted effort to keep better hydrated, this helps with headhaches, concentration and with skin. Who would have though. I wohnder if anyone has ever documented this before – that the human body requires a certain amount of water daily for optimum function….Ha! so why is it such a revelation each time I find this wisdom to be true AGAIN.

– Also the most unlikley things can actually be surprusingly good. Like bright pink short pants from tesco – wrong on too many levels to write about but surprisingly comfy.

less misery?

I saw something awesome on an ad on facebook:


Im totally making some literary confetti for the next wedding I go to….I’ll choose some appropriate book from a charity shop and give it a new existance!

also this.

The most dangeous opponent you will ever face is not the smartest one, nor the stongest or quickest one, but the one who has nothing left to lose.

Another dream

I dreamt of Abbie again.

It has been over five years since her passing yet I mourn her still.

I could never have asked for a more faithful friend, more loyal, more loving, more trusting, and she saved me from utter hopelessness by always getting through to me where others could not. I wonder if she had been a human whether we would have been such good friends, but being of the four-legged and waggy-of-tail variety of mammal she was destined for a shorter life than me, and when I told her I wanted to be alone, she just focussed her shining slightly crossed eyes on me padded forward and settled down beside me. We all joked about how brainless and dumb she was, but the fact is, she had wisdom that let her break through my walls where no-one and nothing else could. When things were at their darkest, I thought I could have exited this plain without causing much fuss, but it wasn’t thinking of my family that really stopped me in my tracks, nor was it thinking of friends (were there any?), or neighbours, or some imaginary gods, my only thought was that I couldn’t leave HER. We had been pups together, grown up as sisters and had been granted each other as a rare soul mate (loath though i am no use that phrase) and how could I turn my back on that? I have not found another living thing which I can share such a connection with since her passing, and maybe I never will, but i will always have her memory.

So when she comes into my dreams, I don’t want to wake up, I just don’t want to wake up.

I wish you were here

Why does singing make me cry?

Seriously, some songs, regardless of the situation make my eyes water when I sing them. Why do you suppose that is?

One example is ‘My Fidelity’ by Heather Nova…here I am in the lab doing some mind-numbing spreadsheet nonsense when this song comes around on iplayer and I quietly sing along – and predictably the tears start to fall.

perhaps its the lyrics?

“My Fidelity” ~ Heather Nova

Is it something ritual
I’m caught in, can’t break the spell?
Is it moving in my body
Is it biological?
I gotta hand it to you
You’ve got one heart ten times divided.
Did you cut yourself in pieces
To get them all inside?

You dream about her, can’t you see?
She’s only shining bright
’cause she’s so out of reach.
You dream about the seven seas
While I’m staying home each night,
Making love to my fidelity.

I’m rocking in my bed
I can’t talk can’t think can’t sleep.
And nothing’s jumping fences,
I only count what I cannot keep.
I lick my wounds,
I chase my instinct like a cat.
I don’t know how I got so good
Or why my heart’s a trap.

Why I love you, why I love you
Why I love you I don’t know,
Why I love you, why I love you, why.
Taking sides with my enemy
Making love to my fidelity.

I’m landlocked, stuck in here,
I don’t want to take my freedom.
I can’t change what makes me high
And I can’t change what I believe in.
I’m not pleasing no guru,
I’m not out to look for Jesus.
I’m not afraid to break the rules
It’s just, one love keeps me breathing.

Why I love you, why I love you
Why I love you, I don’t know
Why I love you, why I love you, why.
Taking sides with my enemy
Making love to my fidelity

well I guess the lyrics are kind of sad but the song itself is so sweet and bare, about comparing herself to some unattainable beauty…or that’s how I see it.

What other songs make me cry when I sing along?

Silent all these years – Tori Amos

Cooling – Tori Amos

Doubled up – Heather Nova

hmm I shall ponder on this.


Incidently – I started singing to myself the piano intro to ‘silent all these years’ (having not heard it for weeks or months) and then just for fun listened to it and guess what? perfect pitch! I could remember precisley (or as precisley as my ears will allow) the note which it starts on 🙂